Why are some people extremely successful and some aren't? We cover this in today's episode! Some people are not truly innately more motivated by others Some people are not going to be more successful than others- just because of their brain or who they are. This is all chosen. Every day, minute, second of the day. This comes from deliberate thinking and deliberate decision-making.
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Transcript:
Unknown (00:00): Hey friends. Welcome to ADHD boss podcast with me Ellen Argo where we help you make at least 100 K more this year in your business with your ADHD brain. So today I wanted to talk about a word of motivation. So many of us feel like motivation is not in our control that it's kind of something that happens to us. And there's lots of thoughts, such as like I've had people tell me. Well, you're just a doer. Like you just get things done and they in turn. It's a belief.
Unknown (00:30): About themselves that they're not a doer. So I just wanted to share that thought with you and it's probably something if you feel like you have a lack of motivation but you're not creating the success that you want. There is a very common denominator that is 100% in your control. So we're going to talk about that today. So one of the great places that we get to see how motivated we get to see the thoughts that were thinking that alright, they're causing motivation or
Unknown (01:00): Lack thereof is setting up new habits. So anytime we start something new, we start a new habit. This is a great time or thoughts are going to come up and we're going to get to see our motivations. This also happens a lot when we're starting a business, right? We test our motivation every minute and every day nobody is telling you exactly what to do which is another reason why we love it, right? We get to follow our interests as an ADHD person, we get to decide everything.
Unknown (01:30): Every minute, every single day how we want to spend our time which can also get us in a lot of trouble when we're thinking. Not good thoughts, right? When we are able to understand motivation along with our interest based brain, we can create the unimaginable and have more fun. When I first started, my Rossiter practice, I was used to working many long days as a wildland firefighter, I was used to pushing my body hard pushing through pain and
Unknown (01:60): Dull chunking away or climbing up the hill with a heavy pack and moving my legs, because others counted on me, I couldn't stop. I wasn't allowed to or I would have gotten left behind right when I first started my business. I didn't know what I was doing quite frankly. Like I believed it it was a little bit of a truth. I didn't have anybody in my life that had ever been an entrepreneur. I had never even considered the thought of owning your own.
Unknown (02:30): Show business. I never I was 23 years old I just kind of figured yeah I just figured everybody just work for everybody else, right? So this whole entire world opened up for me when I was 23 and I didn't have anybody that I could work for as the only Rossiter and all of Idaho, right? It forced me into the best decision that I've ever made. So
Unknown (02:58): I had this thought that I didn't know what I was doing and I had belief and truth that I could pull into that place and it was easy to work a few amount of hours and then do other things with the rest of my time, I was cleaning the house, I painted the house, I organized the house, I got rid of extra things. I spent hours every day building a website, that no one would even care to look at for years because they didn't know to look at it. No one even knew
Unknown (03:27): About me to even want to look at it, right? I wanted everything to be perfect so that I could make my website and then it wouldn't be perfect enough. So I would remake it spending even more time and what is perfect, right? I was chasing this thing that was impossible and spending just crazy hours that went into all of these things that felt necessary at the time. But now
Unknown (03:57): Now, through going through that thing, those things that felt necessary I am now able to look back and see that it was actually just something to me that felt safe. It was things that I had done in the past that I knew that I could do. Because I was operating from this place that I didn't know what I was doing. So I didn't give myself any other, I didn't operate on that thing that I didn't believe, I knew, I operated and other things that I thought that I knew.
Unknown (04:27): Escaping from that, right? Which didn't help me understand. Anything more about my business when I was cleaning and painting and all that stuff, right? So because I went through that experience and I reflected back on it, on the things that I thought were necessary is how I have so much more awareness. And that's really important because I don't want you to feel like what you're doing now is wrong. It's not what you're doing now, is long as you've decided that it's something that you
Unknown (04:57): Want to do is perfect even if it's not actually something you've decided to do, if we will learn from that we're still so much farther than we were not taking any action at all right? So
Unknown (05:14): But in that reflection, realizing that I was taking action and something that felt safe and it was because I was afraid of doing the other things and a little bit of being a 23 year, old that had no idea about business, right? I had that belief, I'm only 23, I don't know what I'm doing and so, I took action from those places. I was super broke my boyfriend at the time and I were living with his parents. I was distracted.
Unknown (05:44): Not focused and not getting anywhere at all. And that's when I knew I needed a change. I reminded myself that I knew exactly how to work eight hours, that it's not hard. That I was used to it already. I remembered my ability to do hard things and how good it felt at the end of the day as a wildland. Firefighter, how that accomplishment of the challenge was worth it all, even when every muscle in my body, wanted to give out.
Unknown (06:14): Times and truly. Sometimes they did. I had to have a friend help me push up on my pack up a hill once because I was my body was just completely done.
Unknown (06:26): But I lived through that and this event of meaning, to be pushed up the hill, gave me Insight of what is possible. Even when somebody has to help me, push me up the hill, I still did it. I still got to the top and that is such a beautiful awareness. This changed my thoughts from, I don't know what to do to deciding. I will work for eight hours every day. I took
Unknown (06:56): That in action, reflected upon it, recognized that I have control and I decided I was going to show up for eight hours every day and that I will figure out exactly what I should be doing and holding space for the journey. This is always going to be a constant struggle, right? We're going to forget, we're going to judge ourselves for where we are at, and that's just part of having a human brain. It has nothing to do with ADHD.
Unknown (07:26): It just is the human brain. It's going to reflect its going to judge us and we get to remember. We remember every time we are on a journey, it's all about the journey. You can't do anything wrong here. So I have adopted that thought I can't do anything wrong, I am on my journey and I'm reflecting and even though I was watching Netflix, I now realized from that watching Netflix that that is not how I want to show.
Unknown (07:56): Up. And I now have a new realization that I can change the thought that I'm thinking to have a different outcome, right? That's really truly, embracing the journey and not feeling shame for our actions and our in actions. Just truly coming at it as it is a Learning lesson. So I really want to remind you the last two thoughts that I shared with you is. I can't do anything.
Unknown (08:26): Nothing wrong here and it's all a Learning lesson. If we could truly Embrace that and feel that in our body and remind ourselves of those thoughts, every single day, how much more mobilized? Will you be to taking action to failing to not doing it? Exactly correctly. Because guess what, is there a right way? Is anybody doing it perfectly?
Unknown (08:54): I think people think that other people are doing it perfectly, they have the perfect formula, they know exactly what to say, they have everything all figured out and then they just became this immediate success. But even those people that we look up to that were inspired by they're doing the work, they're reflecting back their learning from their actions and their in actions. There are constant work in progress to and you're looking at them when they're 10 years down.
Unknown (09:23): It's Road of thinking I can't do anything wrong here of thinking. It's all a Learning lesson, right? We cannot judge ourselves by somebody's maybe even final destination to the beginning of ours, right? So let's remind ourselves. We are climbing the hill.
Unknown (09:48): We have no idea when we're learning about your own resilience in that moment, right? I thought I was just climbing a hill but that hill was actually one of my greatest teachers
Unknown (10:05): and that he'll would not have been one of my greatest teachers. If I didn't go back and reflect upon it, if I didn't go back and allow it to inspire me into action, to mobilize me out of fear or mobilize me in that fear to still take the actions that I had, decided are necessary for me in that moment, right?
Unknown (10:33): So I really want you to practice recognizing our thoughts and a lot of times forever, even man. I've been doing this work for forever but very specifically this work for four years and I still don't realize my thoughts so I don't want you to create shame on that either, but I want you to realize your outcomes and your actions so those can really help.
Unknown (11:04): Us reflect on the thoughts that were thinking in her head. I'm going to come back to the thought that some people are doers and some people aren't. And I want to be really clear that everyone is a doer when they decide to be.
Unknown (11:22): One of my favorite clients stories was in just a few minutes of a one-on-one life coaching session. We were able to take something that has been inner woven in her life story for so long. She was able to find it in many of her close relationships and we were able to give it wiggle room, she was terrified of making sales calls, she was worried about herself. Coming off as salesy, she wants to be helpful to people. She wants to
Unknown (11:52): Resource and she didn't want to feel scummy or inconveniencing people and wasting their time. Those thoughts which felt like truth down to her bones. Kept her from taking the action that she had decided was the most important thing for her growth. So imagine deciding something that this one thing is, the most important thing for you being successful in your new or old business. And then
Unknown (12:22): Finding all the reasons why you shouldn't. It makes total sense that when you feel like you were not operating from your core values, that you would not want to take action, but what if you could take action and be in your core values? What if it's just the thoughts that you were thinking in that moment? I can guarantee you many times it is especially if it's something.
Unknown (12:52): That you have really truly decided is something that you want to do.
Unknown (12:60): By just being aware that this is the thought that it is a waste of people's time. Allows you to figure out how you want to show up on those calls and show up in help and service to that other person. When you say to yourself before your sales call, how can I be of service? For this person, it opens up your mind to all sorts of other options, all sorts of different ways.
Unknown (13:30): When I think this thought, I feel curiosity in my body and with that Curiosity, when I am on that call, I change. My I change my least to that of servant. Oh, my yeah, of providing, not at all. What I can get in return. I connect in with my core values, with being love with empowering others, and educating others in ways that are helpful to them.
Unknown (13:60): This allows for connection because I am truly listening to them. Of course, we have no control over their experience. That's really important. That's something that has ADHD entrepreneurs or a tht people. In general, we fall into a lot of people pleasing. We have no control over their experience. We have no,
Unknown (14:29): No, control over the thoughts that they're thinking about you.
Unknown (14:34): But I can know for sure that if I am listening and connecting with them that they won't feel hostage or not listened to and we will likely be able to share some value in some way.
Unknown (14:51): Or let them go if they need to if they're busy and I am coming from a place of connection and service I'm probably going to ask them. Hey is now a good time first right? And then I can operate from that place, right? So many more options are available to you when you come from a place of that you want to come from and it has nothing to do with the sales call.
Unknown (15:20): It has everything to do with your thought.
Unknown (15:24): So this is what happens when you change your thought.
Unknown (15:30): It has nothing to do with how many calls you've defined are necessary to reach your goal. It has everything to do with a thoughts that you're thinking.
Unknown (15:44): I get clarity on the quality of my thoughts, simply through my outcomes or the things that I am doing in the moment, those little actions that we're taking or not taking yesterday, I did a post about eating raspberries really fast when I'm super stressed out. This is a great example of me using my actions in life. When I am disconnected from my thoughts.
Unknown (16:14): And my physical Sensations in my body or what we call our feelings, right? I use the action of shoving, raspberries is quickly into my mouth me, searching for taste, bud, Bliss to escape from my reality which was frustration, once the raspberries were almost entirely gone. I had hardly even experienced much of their flavor at all. I realized oh,
Unknown (16:45): Well, I guess I'm stressed. This allows me to pause, breathe and reflect. I got to we decide if I wanted to continue to be stressed or if I wanted to, look at it, if I wanted to journal about it and give it some wiggle room and then decide a different feeling that I wanted to come from. Sometimes it takes a while, sometimes it simply takes recognizing your feeling for you to transmute. The thought to something that
Unknown (17:14): Serves you this being said, I don't want you to think that just because it doesn't feel good. Now, it also doesn't need to be judged or shamed. What if every crappy thought? And every crappy feeling was your Hill, you were climbing, that was building. Your resiliency
Unknown (17:37): I really don't want you to feel like you have to force change of thought, to a better feeling. Thought I color code. I called these a cover-up thought when we try to change a thought because we wanted to feel better, all we are doing is planting a flower and a pile of poop. I recommend sitting with the poop, not judging the poop. Just realizing it is poop being poop. It doesn't mean. We are a bad person.
Unknown (18:06): Send that we are never going to be successful that we are a failure and it definitely does not mean that we should quit. It's just poop being poop but it's amazing how quickly in our mind. We have this thought that I don't know what to do.
Unknown (18:27): I don't know what to do. That is like your pile of poop. We can make it mean so many things about who we are, what we can do and what we're going to become these, thoughts are the same as the pile of poop. It just is sometimes it smells and sometimes it doesn't but okay enough of the crappy talk also you can thank my dad for
Unknown (18:57): Any of the terrible puns that will happen in this podcast because it's gonna happen. So, I wanted to talk a little bit about using excitement and curiosity to increase fun, and success in your life and your business and your profitability, I will this thought that I will never be successful with my ADHD brain.
Unknown (19:21): You were built to follow your interest. You have an interest-based brain. Your brain was designed to not, allow yourself to not continue to learn and grow. We just have to learn how to unlock that. Incredible power. You have inside your new unique interest-based, brain wiring
Unknown (19:45): So when I was taking my ADHD life, coach certification through add care and the same as my certification through the life coach school, I got to dive in and learn so much about my unique brain wiring. It was hands down the best thing I have ever done for my business. And for my employees, I really took the ADHD training for myself so that I could learn how to be more organized. And because I was operating from all of these thoughts, that
Unknown (20:15): That will very well likely talk about all of them. I had read a million books already on how to be organized about my ADHD brain, but I really needed something more immersive. This is where I learned about the interest-based brain. This really helps me hone in my interests. It helped me figure out why. Why? Who not? How is so important? Then as my training
Unknown (20:45): Progressed at the life, coach School, my certification. I was able to understand that our interests, although are pretty well set. Our interests are truly just our thought about the subject, right? We believe our interests because we've had a thought about them. Remember when we think a thought multiple times it becomes a belief. So when we believe
Unknown (21:15): Something believe that we're good at something. We're going to have more interest towards it. When we believe that, we're not good at something, we're not going to have interest in it. And this was a huge, aha moment for me, this is what I was able to realize I could find interest in anything as long as I was feeling curiosity and asking questions. From that Curiosity.
Unknown (21:42): Building sentences deciding what to think from Curiosity and curiosity is hands down. One of my most motivating profitable emotions that we can have as an ADHD entrepreneur. When we take action from the feeling of creativity, curiosity, we create Movement. We start our journey towards success. When we move we learn, we are able to make adjustments to
Unknown (22:12): Is working and what is not working. When you believe something is a fact, when you believe that you hate it, when you believe that you are no good at it. I want you to feel curiosity. When you are coming from a place of curiosity, what can you ask yourself about that thing? What do you want to learn? Maybe it's simply finding a person that you can afford to help.
Unknown (22:42): Help you with that task with that thing, or maybe it's to delegate, it completely. This is still movement, movement will look different for each of us. And for each person, it will look differently for each topic of Interest or non-interest. Another question, I like to ask myself, is I wonder what the people that really love this topic, think about it. That is
Unknown (23:13): That one is really fun and sometimes makes me laugh out loud because I cannot imagine certain thoughts and that's okay too. Remember, we are not forcing our thoughts. We are just giving ourself some other options of thoughts that we can think. And also realizing that other people do have different beliefs about this thing, which means it is just our thought about it. It is not truth.
Unknown (23:42): It is just our thought helping us realize that we are simply choosing to believe this. Thought about this pop about this topic. It is not set in stone.
Unknown (23:57): Another belief that I hear often and I operate from for a short period of time is I don't even know what to start with. The thought is the problem. If fear wasn't a problem, what would you start with first?
Unknown (24:18): What would you do? Even if you have never done it before.
Unknown (24:24): What has worked in the past and what hasn't worked in the past? This super common I have so many things that I want to do my highly motivated self which is simply because I have been practicing different thoughts.
Unknown (24:44): Once to do, I want to do all the things right now. I am fantastic at chasing shiny objects. The best way I have found to doing this is writing it down and asking the questions that I just mentioned, what has worked in the past? What are the deadlines that I need to keep in mind? What do I need to have done soonest?
Unknown (25:12): What will make the biggest impact go with your gut? How are you going to know? If you never try, if you never take the first step, if you feel strongly about something, being the best thing, go, all in when you want to switch to another task, ask yourself, why do I want to switch to a different task? Lots of times. When I catch myself jumping from task to task, it is simply because I have to
Unknown (25:42): Lat, this isn't the best use of my time or some other judgment about what I'm doing along those lines. This is where I take many bursts of action but never complete anything. I like to think of it as like opening all these little Pandora boxx's and never actually closing them, right? I'm starting all of these projects, creating all of us, anxious, energy, and getting, and getting know.
Unknown (26:12): None of them completed, right? And I don't even have the energy to complete them because I'm so,
Unknown (26:21): All of these open boxes and all of these negative thoughts that have caused me to open up all these boxes is a lot of energy out flow without any energy coming back because I'm operating from this negative thought, write negative thoughts.
Unknown (26:38): Can kind of suck your energy when we don't reflect back on them and use them as our Hill for resilience. So, even with your ADHD brain, this is not something that just has to be as an unmedicated ADHD person I have used my action of jumping from task to task to help me realize that I am feeling anxious that I am thinking that this isn't the best use of my time.
Unknown (27:08): This allows me to pause and decide consciously to ask myself, what would I Define as the best use of my time right now? Or even better deciding ahead of time maybe on Monday or Sunday and just taking the action when I have it scheduled on my on my calendar?
Unknown (27:32): Because you've already decided with understanding the deadlines understanding your goals, understanding your priorities, that this is the most important thing. It helps you generate better thoughts because, you know, you've already taken all of that into consideration. It allows you to start a task and allows you much more energy to complete it because you don't have other thoughts, intercepting causing you to feel.
Unknown (28:02): Feel like you need to jump from task to task.
Unknown (28:07): I also want to remind you still.
Unknown (28:12): This is not anything to be ashamed of when we don't complete anything. When you notice that you're wasting time, jumping from task to task. When you're noticing that you're exhausted, at the end of the day and you really feel like you're not, you didn't get anything done on your to-do list. This is not a place for shame. Every single person does this the ADHD brain and the neurotypical Brain? But as an ADHD brain,
Unknown (28:42): And we have more places more opportunities that we can realize our Behavior faster. We can decide sooner and we have more opportunity to take action from a deliberate thought from a place that inspires action, inspires creativity inspires motivation. Then thoughts about taking action against our will from that place of
Unknown (29:12): Disinterest, like the neurotypical, brains are capable of doing when our brain is, not operating from interest. It shuts down, we feel heavier emotion, which is such a gift, right? We can take more action from more awareness, from more emotion.
Unknown (29:38): So I wanted to leave you with that today and then I wanted to also let you know, something else that we are launching at Treasure Valley. Rossiter is the whole body reset and this is important because I have been working with you. Get unlimited life coaching during this journey and I have pulled in a few doctors, that will help us with menopause that will help us with hormones, that will help us heal our gut that will help us with
Unknown (30:07): Immune.
Unknown (30:09): Compromises. And oh my gosh it's just amazing and it has the whole body Contour which is scientifically the only FDA approved device for Effectiveness and it helps people lose 10 pounds and only a few weeks not through any crazy way that you think we might be doing it. It's all through a long lasting ways that will help you heal your body change your
Unknown (30:38): Mindset stop stressing about weight loss. Stop yo-yo dieting and really help you decide how to show up for yourself and give you all sorts of little health tips and tricks. So that it's really easy to start it, maintain it and continue it for the rest of your life. So if you are interested in the whole body, reset, please let me know. You can go to Treasure Valley Rossiter.com.
Unknown (31:08): Mom / whole body, reset, and you'll find all the information. There, we will be doing a free webinar in February on. I should write that down. I think it's yes, Tuesday. The 7th of February dr. Sarah Decorah. And I will be doing, she specializes in hormones to help you with any hormone imbalance and peptides.
Unknown (31:39): to help you, heal your body and lose the weight and it's also great for
Unknown (31:46): Anti-aging benefits. So if you're interested in that, we would love to have you. It's at 9 and it will be on February 7th, and we'll have it on Facebook and all sorts of things. So if you are interested, please go to the whole body, reset and we will share all the information. If you have loved this podcast, please rate us, give us a review and even share it with a friend. We can't wait to continue to grow and inspire
Unknown (32:16): Fire with you. I can't wait to watch you thrive in your business and your life. If you would like to join me for a one-on-one complimentary session. We can dive into whatever is holding you back. Even if you don't know what it is yet. This is my favorite thing about my job is I help hold people accountable but I also help them. See what is still blind to them which we all have blind spots, right? We're going to unlock your true potential through understanding your biggest blockade.
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