Do you force yourself to create - to later delete it, or do nothing with it because it's not quite right? Do you feel like you are working hard to motivate yourself? Do you feel like you can't get into the flow state? Maybe you are just having a hard time functioning, because you are stuck in a negativity spiral. Feeling like a failure is not unusual with ADHD. but as we learn this, we can support ourselves through systems for us. In this short episode we are going to talk about the #1 thing that puts me into my flow state- no matter what mood I am in.
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Transcript:
One of the symptoms of ADHD is having a hard time transitioning from one task to the other.
This doesn’t mean that this is only meant for switching from task to task,
It can also be transitioning from through to thought.
What I personally struggle with- is hyper fixation.
When I get fixated on something, getting my brain to let go of it - and move onto another thought.
This is more when it has to do with my rejection sensitivity,
When someone misunderstands what I am trying to say. This is when I get to practice these so much more.
Because, it’s when my brain quite frankly gives me no other choice.
It feels a lot like,
Shaming my brain for being there-
Or allowing myself to look at what is going on and chose-
Is there something that I can do in this moment to help my brain?
Why yes. There is. And here it is!
The one that works best, even when my other transition tactics aren’t working is music. Turning on music to match the mood i am wanting. If I want to feel energized I have a playlist of songs that is called happy energy- or happy dance.
If I want to feel chilled out and happy, I put on my chillin happy playlist.
If I am just needing to bump out of my negativity spiral, I just turn on my likes songs on Spotify.
The music takes over my brain. Gives me a focal point. It stimulates multiple senses in my brain. I feel the vibrations, my brain listens to the different notes, the sounds, the emotions it evokes. Allows me space from my own brain.
Even with practice of looking into my brain and awareness, my brain can get away from me. Where even being reflective is not helpful.
When I am unable to make any headway on my thoughts. When I am feeling stuck. This is when music saves the day.
This can also translate to creating the music. Playing an instrument, singing in the car, whatever floats your boat.
The biggest thing is to focus on the music that you have chosen to listen to. Just as you can focus on a campfire. Hear it, Feel the Melody, experience every aspect of the music. What do you love about it? This will allow you to think positive thoughts about something externally to you.
Take your mind off your task, or tasks at hand….or simply just things your brain wanted to remind you could be possibilities- that might not even be a problem now or ever…but you get my point.
Once we realize we are stuck in this space, once we feel our muscles tighten, or our chest tighten, once we notice the anxiety, or anger, or whatever emotion that is paralyzing you.
Distract yourself with music.
Know this is not us running away from our feelings. This is simply the best way for us to process our emotions.
When we are so deep into our spiral, it is easy to not see any other options. Not even from anyone else.
It’s having an out of body experience. Distracting us from our painful, anxious, or angry thoughts our brain has hyper fixated on and giving it something else to hyper fixate on for a short while. Maybe just the length of one song. In 2 in a half minutes of pause, and tuning into this beautiful song that moves our soul, we save ourselves the time lost when we are operating from a negative spiral. Which generally looks a lot like not operating at all.
This 2 and a half minute song Gives us the opportunity to process the emotion from a clearer space.
Maybe you need 2 songs or 3…but even then you have saved so much time, just allowing yourself to pause.
….isn’t it so crazy that we have to give ourselves a reason, to allow ourself to pause.
To justify this thing, that we used to do so often.
That we now have been told that success comes from action - which puts pressure on our negative spiral.
I want to remind you - the best thing you can do with your time - that will make you WAY more productive,
Is to give yourself time to pause. My favorite, most consuming refresher is with my favorite song with my headphones in and my eyes closed. Feeling it, and experiencing it with all my senses.
Believing it is wrong to need something external like music makes processing the emotion harder.
Believing you shouldn’t need music is simply a judgement against your brain, and brings shame - also making processing emotion harder. Isn’t it crazy how easy it is for us to shame our own brains?
Knowing the ways our brain functions, allows us to ban together and find ways that can help us function the best. To actually be productive. Not forcing ourselves to do things, when we are actually not capable. This is also a hack that I use to get into my flow state. When I am writing for the podcast, I want to be in an expansive, loving space. If I am trying to create content for you wonderful humans from a negativity spiral, it wouldn’t be fun. Not saying that I haven’t attempted it…
But it is so much harder.
Way less fun,
And I almost always end up starting over when I am not in one. So all that time that I spent forcing myself to do something,
When I wasn’t in the right emotional state -
I could have taken 4 hrs less time, by allowing myself to pause for 2 and a half minutes,
While I listened to my favorite song to transition to my next task.
To help me harness and create the emotional state that I want to be in.
To push me into my flow state
To be able to effortlessly operate from the emotion I have decided is the best for the task at hand
We have such beautiful, creative minds. So many of us are overwhelmed with depression at times, simply because we haven’t learned to transition from a negativity spiral.
The more I work with ADHD entrepreneurs that are high achievers. We have so much pressure on ourselves, our ability to perform. I have yet to meet someone that doesn’t struggle with this hyperfixation on negativity. And actually, it is one of the things our ADHD brain is more wired towards. Negativity.
What do you tend to notice when you are in a negativity spiral?
When in a negative space is the hardest time to be aware that your thoughts are out of hand.
This is when I want to remind you that it’s okay to forget.
It’s okay actually to feel that negative emotion.
It’s okay that you can’t get out of it for a while.
When we need to get out of it - can also be something that makes that emotion worse.
It’s putting pressure on that negative emotion.
Just as when we have the stomach flu, we just have to move through it- and we know we will feel so much better on the other end.
When we approach a negativity spiral, and we understand how our brain works,
We can remind ourselves this is not forever, and I know what to do when I am ready to get out.
There are times when we want to be sad.
There are times where negative emotions are the best use of our time.
We get to decide all the time, what we want to feel.
I am suggesting that music can help you deliberately feel any emotion you want to feel at that time.
I love the example of sometimes you just need a good cry.
How amazing is it to just cry it out when you feel like you have all this pent up emotion? put on a sappy movie,
And when you are done it’s like your soul has hit reboot.
You are ready for another day.
I also think- that most of the time this comes from resisting emotions for a while.
I notice that when I continue to do my journaling everyday, for just 5 minutes.
When I look at the thoughts in my mind,
I only need a song here and there to help me transition.
It’s when I haven’t been doing the work -
This generally happens when everything is going really well.
But I will almost always after 4 or 5 days end up in a funk of not journaling.
When I am consistent with looking at my mind,
When I get my thoughts out in the open, where I can look at them externally to me
They feel less real.
I get to have this conversation with myself.
I don’t feel overwhelmed by the emotion
I am able to question the thoughts in my brain
I am able to decide what I am thinking
Instead of feeling like they are happening to me.
This is when I feel the most “in control” with life.
My husband helped me understand through our constant conversations,
How all of us are ultimately seeking to have control.
The more I continue to coach my clients,
The more this gets compounded to be the truth.
When we feel we are out of control, we feel negative emotion.
When we feel in control, we feel positive emotion.
When you pause, listen to the music. it gives us space to breathe. to be in control of our breath.
To watch our thoughts.
And maybe To even write down the items that we need to do, that come up for us while we listen to this song.
We are able to control our thoughts through giving ourselves separation from them.
What are some of the things that you have found that have helped you? What are your take aways from this podcast today?
What are you excited to try?
Love this podcast? We would love your review or a share with a friend!
If you are ready to jump in, create change and make at least another $100k in your business this year, let's jump on a complimentary coaching call.
Click on the link in my bio to book your complimentary 1:1 Coaching Session with Ellen Argo or go to TVR.as.me/LC
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